Creating a Family has got all hot under the collar about the latest piece of adoptee bashing: It is important to not let this become a political argument. Before yesterday, I had honestly never heard of the organization or person he was talking about. I don’t care if Ablow is right or wrong about this organization and person; I care very deeply, however, that he defamed the hundreds of thousands of adoptees by inferring that being adopted leads to mental instability and the craving for power.
It seems Ablow overstepped the mark and has greatly upset and angered both adult adoptees and non-adoptees. He seems to have done what many before him have done and been lured into giving an opinion about someone he does not know, having judged them by their public image. It happens to Psychiatrists all the time and on some occassions they are lured into giving opinions in court which make them a laughing stock and do more damage to their own reputations than good to the person they are trying to support. I'm referring here to a case probably unknown outside my own State, in which a Barrister knocked down and killed a cyclist, failed to stop to render assistance and got off. No adoptees involved, but a serious miscarraige of justice and a very irrate public and a campaign which eventually had the law changed.
My point is why not let this become a political argument? Any offering like this is one which carefully managed, can only bring useful publicity, public awareness and hopefully a move forwards to necessary changes. That is what happens in healthy societies where people care.
It is great to see the efforts of bloggers and adoptees to orchestrate a response and the best of wishes to you for success. If nothing else it will bring long overdue attention to the way in which non-adoptees refer to adult adoptees as children, in what continues to be offensively adoptist and is the province of mothers, legislators and anyone who thinks they know anything about adoption or have a connection to it in any way.
During the Inquiry into forced adoption here in Australia, bringing light to the very same isssue, was one of our first areas of attention. We discovered very quickly that we were being referred to as children, 'our babies', 'our kids' and so on by mothers and the labels taken up by legislators and others. Our invisibility was something we were not happy to accept. It got rancorous, mothers called us 'abusive' because we would not accept their views of what adoption was for us. Legislators were by comparison, very easy to influence and heard us with respect and to their credit, made the changes.
Sad to say it is not usually adoptees who get in the way of change and recognition of the need to bring equal rights to all adoptees. I remember a commenter on this blog being highly critical of my acknowledgement of the fact that the percentages of adoptees in institutions, psychiatric units, amongst the numbers of adults with psychiatric histories, in prisons and in the armed forces is higher than for others. She seemed to find it offensive that it is recognised that adoptees are more represented than others i.e the percentages are higher than the percentage of adoptees in a community. It is fact and can be found easily with a simple search. There are many reasons for it and until we acknowledge and accept, our communities will not provide for adult adoptees in a way which is helpful, supportive and effective when it is needed, as it sometimes is at any stage of the adopted life.
Psychiatrists only treat patients with difficulties severe enough to be thought to warrant their attentions. Judging all of a group of people by one or two is dangerous, misleading and a grave mistake.
I was born POLITICAL Von. Everywhere I go I am political, it is like breathing to me. Why am I like this? Because I was 22 months of age when I asked to be lifted up to see the new baby. My adopters close friends adopted 2 girls. It was then I knew I was adopted but nobody was talking...and my f/adopter managed 34 years of almost total silence on the subject of 'ME' and my truth....never honest right to the end. People like me whom have lived with the 'lies' around their own existence are very, very damaged by those experiences. How we deal with the damage perpetrated upon us is the question. I have met and shared time with thousands of fellow adoptees in my lifetime and in my experience we are rarely grey.
ReplyDeleteAs for the 'conspiracy of silence' surrounding the secret/closed era of adoption....well we have all seen what happens when we tell our own truths....it is gruesome
Thanks skyeyes, so true that we are rarely grey, perhaps out of our adversity comes something to be thankful for! I too became aware of injustice at the age of three and it has informed my life and will continue to do so all my life.When we tell our truths it is beautiful, it is the reactions of others which are ugly and sometimes gruesome.
ReplyDeleteVon, I hear you, but my goal at keeping politics out of this was an attempt to not let our fight degenerate into liberals vs. conservative or Fox lovers vs. Fox haters. I think regardless of our political views we should be outraged by Ablow's comments. That was the thought behind the statement.
ReplyDeleteI take your point Dawn but adoption is political. Ablow overstepped the mark but he has usefully brought to light some points that have been worth taking up, people like this always do a good job in that respect!
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