See The Life of Von at wordpress.

*This is a heavy duty blog which confronts some of the realities of adoption for adoptees.
The blog has been 'deactivated' and although posts are still available there will be no new ones except at the new wordpress blog...hope to see you there!

January 24, 2012

Bigfoot and the Primal Wound

Big Foot tying shoe

There is a plethora of Research on child abuse and neglect -there can never be too much and we can never know too much, in an effort to improved life for children. Nor can we ignore the effects of parenting, the importance of good parenting and more than adequate parenting.  Just an aside, I did have to smile when I noticed one of the authors names is Bigfoot!! I haven't checked, but I'm guessing this research focus is on biological children parented by biological parents for the most part.
Since the primal wound does not exist and all adoptees are blank slates, any research into child abuse does not apply to adoptees, because of course adoptees have been saved by their forever family, rescued from bastardhood, eternal illegitimacy and a fate worse than abortion. All these lucky adoptees are being parented by adopters who are an improved version of the adopters we adult adoptees were raised by, who made us bitter, angry and ungrateful or alternatively happy and uncomplaining. 99% of adopters today know everything they need to know about adoption and have nothing to learn. They're so lucky, wouldn't it be great if adult adoptees knew it all too - where they came from, who they were and all those unimportant little details that are really just icing on the cake.
 Great too if adult adoptees knew and remembered their place and spoke when they were spoken too and made themselves useful as a resource whenever required. Perhaps a sort of 24 hour hotline for questions or a facility for discussion - Do you think we should adopt our grand-daughter's niece? Do you think there is such a thing as good adoption? What should we do with the children no-one wants? etc. It could go on ad infinitum, all free of course with time freely given by grateful adoptees as pay-back for the beauty of adoption and the glory of being saved.  Bit like a burglar asking the victims of burglary how to do a better break-in. Or being at a party where someone asks the local vet, who is a guest, to diagnose his cat, over the canapes. There is never any cost to the adoptee in these quesions, so freely asked, because the primal wound doesn't exist and adoption is not damaging - ask all those non-adoptees who'd far rather be adopted than raised by their biologicals!   Just sayin'!!

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